so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
