If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
