this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
