hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She's the barista slut.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
