The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
