Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
