my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
