Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
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