hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
