idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
This baby is an asshole
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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