oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
