You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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