I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
