i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
