ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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