we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
