I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
