aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
