Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Dignity is for republicans.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
