in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
