after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
