The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
