how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
