They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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