Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
