but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
