Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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