she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
