How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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