brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
