Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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