do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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