would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
