Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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