he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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