well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
love makes seman taste better
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
