so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
