ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
