Nicole vs. Life
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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