the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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