the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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