What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
