Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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