She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
