mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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