Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
