I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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