i just had sex bonerless
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
