Kiss
Puke
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So vagazzling was a success
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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