Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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